In my mind, is where you’ll find me.

• FYP
• History Research Paper
• Biology FRP report
• Run long distance for at least 3x a week (target at the end of the month is to run an hour at a nice comfortable pace w/o dying.__.)
• Sign up for a run w Clongggg (if we decide to :P)
• Train up for Sports Day w Nobelllll team
• Go swimming & tanning!!! (I’m too white now-.-”‘)
• Gym once a week (hopefully w Nelly)
• Save $$$
• Wake up by 9am during the weekends!! (I’m sucha piggie you can’t imagine what time I normally wake up bleh)
• Work on my UCAS personal essay
• Minimize going out and wandering around (unless I finish my work teehehe I can’t resist)
• Stay injury free i.e. no hamstring strain or no overusing of knee urgh >:/
• No more than 5 cups of bubble tea!!!
• No more than 3 movies!!!
• No soft drinks
• No snacking (i.e. no mr bean’s cheese pancake or casava chips or waffles or nachos w cheese or chocolates *sobsob*)
• Do something special for Mummy’s birthday!!
• Not be too withdrawn & be a better daughter & sister & friend
• Be more supportive, loving, understanding & patient

I shall review this at the end of August… if I’m still alive by the end of it, that is heh :) To be honest, I’m feeling the buzzzzzz right now, and weird as it sounds, I’ve missed that feeling.

In these trying times

I’d blog more but I’m kinda lazzie :P
It’s almost August now (and this means Aaron’s recital date is looming pretty close too teehehe), and I still feel like I’m living my weeks in a daze. Every Thursday, I find myself gasping in horror at how I’ve not touched FYP or my History Research Project & Project even though I really probably should start on them because they are incidentally all due in the same week rawr. I probably should get a grip and get out of this hole I’m sinking into ;(

Sports day is coming too! And I’ve decided not to run any individual events this year (and surprisingly without much of a difficulty to come to this decision actually :P) but I will be doing both relays and hoping I can contribute to Nobel in my last year hehehe. I’ve been upping my mileage a lil more in the last two weeks, though my endurance and speed aren’t too good yet. I’m finding it almost impossible to cover the same distance in the time I used to be able to do after not running for pretty long. But it sure does feel good running again^^ Hoping to find a day to gym w Nelly or Jibee :D :D :D

Alrighties, bai :)

Summer love?

Hello :)

Looks like WordPress has changed quite a lil in the layout when I wasn’t around here. I’m finding it quite a chore to update here sometimes cos I think Tumblr is much easier and there isn’t much of a need to type out something too long or coherent:)

Should be staying at Tumblr for a bit^^ For those who know my url, I’m pretty active there ^^v; for those who don’t, you can always ask or find I guess:)

Hmm but I might still blog about Japan when I’m back though! Will be leaving tonight!!! Can’t wait :D :D :D

Sayonara everyone!!!:)

 

Like an outsider looking in,

:D

Hi :D APs are finally over! (Actually it has been for the last two days just that I’ve been lazy to post bwahaha).

Stats ended a lil late at 4pm so I was kinda drained when we were finally released. The paper was kinda tougher than expected though!? I didn’t know how to do Q6 :( Hope that wldnt cost me a 5 lol._. But I shall throw that aside till 3rd wk of July, no point worrying now anyways :D

Okiesss after exams, Aaron & I left for town :) we got our favourite bubble tea (which we hvnt drank in damn long for the first time since last year in hostel we would even take a MRT ride all the way down for one frigging cup._.) then got my corn (!!! in the end we also didn’t eat cos we were too full) from Daiso and headed to Taka for dinner :D OH yeah we stopped by Epicentre (or is it epicenter) on our way there so we played this shuper addictive game on the iPad called Monster Dash!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL I could sorta feel the evil glares the sales people were shooting towards our direction but we didn’t care :) Ate sushi at Taka & bought our fave MILK PAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Heavenly shizz :) We popped by into another Epicentre whilst we were walking around^^ Haha I can’t rmb what we did, I think we didn’t do much other than walking around and talking with ABSOLUTELY NO WORRIES IN THE WORLD. Omg it has been damn long since we did that cos of late (esp the past month or so), most of our convo centred around projects, acads, APs, worries, all the random stressful stuff etc. It actually felt really nice walking around aimlessly (actually not so much aimless cos we were looking for some stuff on our way around the malls in the Orchard area) and sitting down randomly to talk heh =) Our stamina low liao though, felt tired by 9 so we headed home after that. Oh yeah when I got home, I had sushi supper w my mummy (sushi becomes really cheap after a certain timing cos they just wanna clear the stock haha) and after that chatted w an old friend living overseas using Whatapp (which in my opinion is really a godsend :D) till like 2am before I slept. Heh really nice :))

Hmm on Thursday, I kinda just bummed around at home BUT I felt accomplished cos I managed to pack up all my notes and files really nicely and neatly alrdy :D My study area looks really clear and not cluttered up for the first time in months!! :D Oh then I watched Pan’s Labyrinth! I wasn’t sure if the movie is supposed to be in Spanish? But the version I had was Spanish LOL so nvm._. But I thought it was quite a nice movie :) They managed to intertwine the reality aspect of war and violence very well with the fantasy world :D But the violence was a bit too much for me, yucks it was so bad to the point that it actually became kinda gory? So I fast forwarded the gory bits LOL I don’t have the stomach for gore._.

Hoho today (Friday), I met up w Nelly at North Point Manhattan Fish Market for lunch :D He was nice enough to come all the way down to my area even though he didn’t have much time to spare, but we had a really nice lunch and talk :D :D :D Hahah the food there is actually pretty good though I didn’t try their fish & chips (even though it’s their trademark dish I know) cos I didn’t like chips and they refused to change it to rice or baked potato for me so I had chicken & garlic butter rice instead which is still pretty nice^^ Went to Yishun lib after Nelly left and borrowed a Nicholas Sparks book (yay :D) and some travel guides to Tokyo cos I think my family is gna head there this June hahah :D OH and I ran this evening yay :D velly happie cos it has been really really long since I ran like the longest I stopped running walao why did I even stop :’( starting again is always the shittiest part, but nvm must persevere :D

:D

YAY :D I feel all the stress off me for the time being :D Though I think gotta start mugging for the SATs reasoning test liao =( less than a month away nuuu. Is the one question a day they send us using email enough~~~ Ya riiight.

Okies loads of activities lined up next week :D

Monday-Tuesday: Soccer camp WHOOTS!

Wednesday: Going out :))

Thursday: Going out w Chua :D

Friday: English results released NUUU but going out after that so shld be good anyhow :D

YAY!

Okies bai! Gna read my Nicholas Sparks love book and cry my heart out :)

“I will never leave you nor forsake you” Joshua 1:5

Let go, let God :)

The weeks are getting crazier!!! I’ve been pushing you to the back of my mind… occasionally you resurface but quite honestly I don’t know how I feel bout you anymore and now is not the time.. A lot of things have been happening… somedays I feel like I needa speak to someone bout it, somedays I just feel like clamming up. Weird moodswings…

And I’m getting more sick (as in coughing and flu kind of sick) and tired more easily these days :( Our A div girls soccer nats have started so gosh, I will return home late every Wednesday and just go right to bed… hahah very worried for history :/ my history grades aren’t as good as they were last year =( Just got back our test today and I totally bombed it hooboy. As in boooooooombed wth. I don’t really get how to do this sem’s history lol. I hope it’s not too late to turn things around and get a good grade for this! Really need it this sem cos my other subjects aren’t too good :/

Anywhoo, we played against MJC just ytd and we lost 3-0 :( we played against them for a friendly before sometime last year and we lost much badly the last time, though I think this time round the scoreline isn’t too baaaad cos of awesome goalie Wardah and the fact that the opposing team wasn’t as strong as last year’s!? I think we didn’t do too bad a job either actually :)) Next week we are playing VJC lolololol, they thrashed NJC 13-0 ytd… haha.

Anyways next week we’re gonna have some test spam or smth-.- We have bio test, history test, chem test and english AQ test? Wowow. And the following week would be mock APs alrdy… dang I hvnt studied :( I must really get down to doing it alrdy… I can actually foresee my CAP dropping like mad this sem =( and I thought I’d be different this year cos it’s the last year alrdy._. haiz.

NVM, it’s not too late :) :) :) :) :) Just gotta get down to doing it cos the hardest is always having to start from scratch (this time, all revision really is starting from scratch wowie)

Oh and I went to the college counsellor the other day and I’ve been talking a lot bout universities and applications to Daddy. I kinda know what I’d like to do, but I don’t know how reachable that is and it makes me feel very troubled and hesitant :/ I will blog more bout it another time :)

Gotta go Starhub svc centre tmr! My SIM card died on me so sorry if I’ve not been replying to ur smses/calls!

Cheers! :)

 

Jumping on the Formspring bandwagon ;)

Ask me anything at:

www.formspring.com/whaipenguin

:)

Am just trying this out… let’s see if anyone has any questions to ask me^^

“For whatever we lose (like a you or a me), it’s always ourselves we find in the sea”

Hello everyone :)

Wow Term One really flew by, partly cos I wasn’t really living up to it :/ I think Term Two is going to be even more packed and crazier though ^^”

Anyways, been awhile since I blogged, so anywhoo here is just a quick update :D

The last week has been full of ups & downs :/ more so than usual :D

Monday went by pretty fast cos it was sorta the last day of term for me since the rest of the week would have been occupied by SSEF so yup :) Training went well though I pulled my thigh muscle yet again while sprinting-.- but nvm, thanks to the largely inactive life I’ve been living since Monday, I think I woulda fully recovered yay :) Nationals are coming and I’ve gotta say I’m really kinda looking fwd to it cos it’d be the last ones that I will be participating in^^ Last year this time was a dark horrid period of my life where I was ridden with injuries and had to even pull out of the competition after hospitalization and whatnot, so hope competitions this year would turn out better^^ I rmb emoing in hostel last year after losing my matches though :/ I gotta admit, I don’t like talking to ppl much after playing and especially after losing :/ but what warms my heart is that the entire team goes through it together, whether we win, lose or draw :) that’s something I would never have experienced if I nvr made the decision to join soccer :)

Hahah Tuesday was awesome cos it was my birthday :D I was really touched by my 205 buddies, Aaron, Ash, Chee Ying, Cleo,  Jean, Jibee, Mariel and Timbo who presented me w a pink holga!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D Thanks a lot^^ the card was cute too, though Mr Cactus wasn’t XD hehe don’t rly know how to use a holga yet, but I’ll learn and hopefully take more photos w you guys since it’s our last year liao :’( Lynnette also presented me w a huge card!!! HAHAH I was so shocked to see a few teachers’ msgs there, wow :O so nice of her to approach some of my fave teachers to write a msg for me hahah :) the card was really lovely :D Ros & Sab gave me a file w a jar of candies as well yay thanks :D Yu Jia came over my class and gave me a package full of wired cross, deer keychains (thanks babe, you’re really talented :D my ebil sister stole the cross one away :( *sobs*), guitar pick (okay okay, I will rly learn it at the end of this year :D) and green shoelaces (HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT’S MY FAVE SHADE OF GREEN :D), Aaron gave me something cute to deal w my indecisiveness *sobs* that’s so mean of him right LOL. My family celebrated w me as well w yummy dinner and hazelnut cake at night =) I was a happy girl yay :)

Wednesday went by rly paaaaaaainfully cos it was SSEF judging day and we had to wait for our 6 judges who came by over a span of like 10 hours :/ so we were nervous and jittery and pretty much mentally exhausted  by the end of that 10 hours. But it was a good experience luh :D Aaron and I were fortunate to have our project in the finals and I’ve gotta admit, it was quite a good ending to our almost year long ARP :) Hahah, thankfully we didn’t fall out or argue at all over the course of our ARP unlike many other groups/pairs that might have. In fact, I think the time spent tgth last year at KKH (and beyond._.) and time spent chionging the report and presentation this year was really great I guess :D I really thought we gotta know each other better through this process though quite honestly, I was pretty apprehensive bout our working tgth cos there is always a possibility of us falling out and ending up souring our friendship cos prior to this, we haven’t worked w each other for any projects (even in 105 and 205). Hahah I miss my groupwork w Jibee & Nelly :((((((((((((((((((( (Hi Jibee & Nelly, I know y’all are reading this :D :D :D) Hahah in any case, SSEF was a good ending to ARP :) Would love to sit down w Aaron one day and reminisce bout all the crazy highs, bad lows and all the inside jokes and everything hahah! :D

On Thursday, it was public viewing day so basically slackkkk till results of SSEF :D Hahah Aaron & I went around Science Centre and uh, I gotta say it was pretty boring._. though I actually do like science centre quite a bit :D okay what the hell am I saying-.- hahah at 3pm, the results of SSEF were released :O pretty early this year, but I guess that’s good cos the results took a loooooooooooooong time to be released cos judges had to go arnd and everything. NUS HIGH DID RLY WELL THIS YEAR :D :D :D we got like 10 out of the 17 golds available :) So proud and happy for our school :) Congrats to all recipients!!!!! :D hahah I could feel the nus high pride in the air when everyone clapped and cheered loudly when the judge pasted the award on our school’s booths :) :) :) hahah, gotta admit though, I was pretty bummed by the fact that our project didn’t get anyth. But I kinda expected it cos of the nature of our project, but still deep inside, I actually hoped that our presentations were enough to overlook that fact. But looks like I was just kidding myself :D It’s not that I was expecting something, it’s just the general shitty feeling I got for not achieving anything yknow???

Hahah anyways, after that there was a belated birthday celebration for me (and Cleo actually, though she cldnt make it in the end :((((( haiz) at Cafe Cartel IMM :D Hahah rly gotta thank those who celebrated w me :) Aaron, Ash, Chee Ying, Jean, Jibee, Mariel and Timbo :) they were really life savers manzx :) Jibee & Jean got a slice of cheesecake (WHOO :D) from Secret Recipe and they all sang me a song yay :D Had St Louis Ribs (not too bad, the portion was rly worth it too :D) and we basically sat down there for like, 3 hours talking and playing contact like some nerdsxzzzxzxzxzx :D I think everyone was pretty drained and tired though I had really good laughs and genuine fun :) It had been such a long time… I actually missed just being in the company of them all :) I don’t really know how to express myself (as usual cos I am really bad at blogging bout happy stuff), but that evening was rly good for the heart :)

On Friday was House Carnival.. hmm I wasn’t involved this year, unlike last year… gotta admit, I rly missed the feeling of being part of the nobel family and the feeling of contributing and helping out. I rmb how Chin Wen and I set up the booths the night before, how I lost my voice shouting myself silly and how happy I was when I saw ppl enjoying themselves and playing for their respective houses. I shall reflect on this some other time.

After that, we went around recce-ing for our upcoming Charity Car Wash at two different estates :) There were some hiccups here and there that I hope we will get to settle and thrash out during our next meeting… I was quite disappointed honestly, but I wanted things to go on smoothly, so I had to swallow any displeasure I had, though poor Shengze (especially), Fu Nan and Aaron had to deal with my impatience and unhappiness. Thanks guys for being there :) That was nice. When we recce-d along, the reception wasn’t as good as we hoped it’d be, but I gotta say, a lot of nice ppl and things happened along the way that gave us renewed hope and conviction that really was very heartwarming. We need a lot more work to be done for Project Sprout to succeed :) After the recce, a very mentally and physically exhausted Aaron & I trudged over to bus to West Mall to have dinner hahah. I saw the cutest graphic tees ever there! But I was broke and didn’t have enough $$$ -.- Shall get them the next time I drop by there again :)

Anywhoo, it’s holidays now :D Yay! I hope to get a good rest primarily :) Though it’s gna be pretty tough, since my holidays are really packed-.- There’ll be a soccer friendly then dinner w my fave juniors at Nex after that :D Wednesday would be out celebrating w Seo Youn, Thursday would be bonding day for Project Sprout and Saturday would be the carwash :) and a lot of random things in btwn, with trainings and I also hope to invite my 205 friends over (which days will y’all be free?? Tuesday??) and Lynnette, Roslyn & Sabrina over as well to thank them for being so sweet on my birthday :) hahah I realize I hvnt rly actually spent much time talking to them, though Tioman was quite a good start for Ros & Sab… Haiz time is passing by so fast and there’s so many things I wanna do haiz. I hope everything will fall in place nicely =)

Okay okay okay, this blog post is mad long-.- It’s to make up for the entire month I didn’t blog :)

 

Take care all xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo!!!!

 

My heart was too crowded back then.

Hoho, sounds familiar!?

This is a bit late but still, HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR everyone :)

Oh dear, the last few days of the long CNY holiday just flew by like that!? :( But I think it was a good break with the family :D My cousin posted a few of the photos we took during our reunion dinner on Facebook so I guess I will upload it when I’m less lazy :D We went to Kiseki for our reunion dinner :D The Japanese buffet was pretty good :D The last time I went last Dec, I didn’t get to try the tofu cheesecake, but this time around I did :D And we took like 7 pieces each!? Really yummy and awesome, must try it when you’re there^^ The buffet had the usual Japanese food, like really thick slabs of sashimi (srsly, the thickest I’ve ever seen^^), tempura, hot pot, yakitori, seafood, etc etc :) Really satisfied sitting there and pigging out and just being w family and my fave relatives!!! :) :) We took a walk down really empty Orchard Road after that before heading home to see some really long fireworks from my house window :)

The first day of CNY was spent at my grandma’s :) We aren’t too close with our other cousins so I was mostly spending time w my aunts and my fave cousin yay :D We watched the Liu Qian magic show to pass time and I was srsly fascinated by how he could conjure bubble tea from plain water LOL I want that skill too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hmm the second day was spent visiting my grandma’s brother’s wife whom we call Da Kam Por? My cousin brought his Monopoly Deal and Saboteur cards so us kids were happily playing there :D took me some time to get the hang of Monopoly Deal actually, but it’s pretty fun :D :D He bought his cards from HK on an exchange there so all the roads are like, HK roadnames. Pretty cool actually :D After that, my family and the same relatives with whom we had reunion dinner w went to IKEA to get a table for me :D haha quite fun luh, I actually like going to IKEA or furniture shops to try to imagine how my future home would be like :) I find it very cute when I see couples, esp newly wed couples, going around shopping for furniture for their perfect home =) Also reminds me of the scene in “500 days of summer” during their happier times :D Needless to say, we pigged on ikea hotdogs and ice creams :D we wanted to go visit Helix Bridge since “the night was young” but after driving there, we realized that there was the River Hongbao thingy going on so it was really crowded so we had to head home afterwards =( I haven’t been to Woodlands Waterfront (yeah even though it’s pretty close my home), Southern Ridges, the Sentosa Boardwalk (?) yet!! I wanna go there one day, to have a picnic or go run there or smth :D

The third and fourth day of CNY just flew by… I think cos I woke up pretty late, trying to catch up w my sleep and my family kept going to the dining table to eat, snack and talk a lot lol!!! So time just flew by liddat >< Hohums. Now it’s back to reality and chionging homework >:( This week is going to be a really busy one… gotta skip school on Friday to help out w Chingay, Saturday as well. And Sunday is going to be spent celebrating my grandfather’s birthday!!! Then hopefully, can join the soccer girls in visiting each other’s houses =) Hahah, before that though, this week there will be: 1) PUB report + ppt due, 2) English articles + FYP, 3) Chem quiz, 4) loads of things to settle for Project Sprout heh, 5) Maths quiz, 6) History debate, 7) OSAP Application to fill in. And ahwells, this week is going to be a sad one cos you’ll going off and I guess it’s going to be weird not seeing you almost everyday :(

But that said, I really got things thought through this much needed break :D There are so much to be done this semester, so much that demands space in my heart but yet, I’m starting to look forward to tackling them^^

Hello (fab?) feb

I am kinda tired, sometimes I live each day feeling like I’m in a bubble state. It’s like you’re there physically but the heart’s just not in it and it makes you feel floaty and in a precarious situation where any wrong move would just result in having the bubble pop and things go awry.

Things have been piling up and I’ve not been able to properly sit down and attend to every one of them.

Gotta take this CNY break to settle all that’s bothering me and properly start this (Chinese) new year like how I should have done so a month ago.

 

Tell me the wars you’re fighting;

I’m here to do an obligatory post cos I’ve been MIA for a long while :)

Can’t believe the last time I did a post was like 2nd Jan, and now almost the entire month is over T.TBut on a brighter note, it’s time for Chinese New Year soon!!! Really looking forward to it^^

Been kinda busy this month, the first two weeks were dedicated to the horrors of SSEF and ARP submission~ I’m proud to say that I’ve been to Novena and Suntec more in the last two months than in my entire life :) I used to love going Novena cos it’s like some sports enthuast heaven with all the sport outlet shops :) But I think I’m still a bit scared of it T.T Well, some great things that came up of it were that we got to have Quiznos and Gong Cha like almost everyday:) And I got a nice simple pair of skirt there for a really good price bwahaha :D

The last two weekends were dedicated to Chingay training :D I joined this year cos my sister received some email through her school to ask for volunteers (so the entire place was almost flooded with ppl from her school) and the trainings have been really fun so far :D My leaders and some friends made there are pretty nice :D Will be missing one day (or maybe halfday) of school and CCA following week or smth :( Hope there wldnt be any soccer matches or friendlies :(

Feb’s gna be pretty packed too, I still have my PUB presentation to be made in Feb :( Boohoo, I don’t really have such a good feeling bout this anymore :( And not to mention, Research Congress… Oh and projects have been coming in too.. tbh the groups have been less than desirable but what to do, there’s nothing we can do bout it>< We’ve been hvg some career counselling sessions as well, and I’m starting to feel really apprehensive!!! Like gee, there doesn’t seem to be anything outstanding bout me :( trying to compile a list of achievements cos my mentor asked for it and the document is sadly still looking really bare ><

Anyways, on a happier note, soccer trainings have been fun :) :) Heh suddenly feel like I’m missing Yu Jia and Sharmaine a lot cos hvnt been spending much time w them (Sharmaine was bringing her buddy from Taiwan around too last trng :D) and also cos I was either w Jibee/Mariel when they joined us for training last Friday/Monday :(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( Soccer trainings are the only time I’ve with them sigh :( and we still hvnt gone for dinner :( nxt monday/tuesday okay!?!? Just decided to msg them as I’m typing this :)

My dad just got home and brought back some bakwa w him YAY!!!! :D :D One thing I dislike bout CNY is the calories and sinful stuff I just love eating =(((((((((( the weather these days have been really erratic._. I hvnt ran since the start of school lol… :( Am still trying to find my footing in these crazy times~ Still excusable since it’s January… in bout 4 days time when it’s Feb, this will just be a lame excuse-.- ARGH. I hate making excuses for myself >:( I must stop it-.-

Oh and I’ve been loving the fruit juice at Clementi :D Had dinner w Seo Youn after CCA on friday cos she was nice enough to wait for me to finish cca and shower :) :) :) :) :) :) I find it really nice and heartening when someone goes all out of his or her way just for me, yknow:) You know who you are too :)

Okies bai! All the best everyone:)

We got all these love, can’t waste them on another;

Hello!!! Haven’t blogged for a long time here and poof, the first day of 2011 has just come and gone like that ytd :/ My family went to KL to countdown instead of staying here in Singapore cos I guess all of us just wanted to take a break from whatever we’ve been busy and just spend time w each other (of course, the good awesome cheaper food and shopping there kinda drew us there too :D). We were lucky to get a hotel room on the 23rd floor so we could see at least, 7 sites of fireworks right in our face!!!! :D Really nice :) At first I was kinda torn up inside cos I didn’t know whether I should follow my family to KL or go ahead w my friends to countdown but I’m glad I chose my family instead :)

And well, last year this time I was busy preparing myself to go into hostel and frantically packing my books/papers/toys (actually only one hahah)/files/clothes/accessories whatever to bring over to school. I was actually thinking of doing a point-form post for everything significant that happened in 2010 but then I realized, somehow there’s just too many significant things that happened that I’d like to keep in my memory and that of the person/persons whom I share the significant memories w  :) (actually this is also an excuse for the fact that I’m just too lazy and I can’t rly rmb everything offhand heehee)

I posted my New Year’s Resolution last year and let’s see how I fared :D

#1 Improve academically (now that physics is out of the way, this should be the case. I mean, MUST)

Yup I did this :)

#2 Improve 2.4km timing and cross country timing

Hmm there wasn’t cross country this year but well I improved 2.4km by like 10 seconds so that’s achieving it though not that significant hehehe :D

#3 Contribute to Nobel for Sports Day

Gotta say I’m proud of this, got 2 golds for team relays (100m and 400m) and a bronze for indiv 200m :) Gotta really thank Aaron, Jibee and Seo Youn especially for bearing w all my whining, self doubt, moodiness, frenzy, whatever in the days before Sports Day :)

#4 Get a B for inclined pull up (I have never gotten above C, always barely enough for a Gold.)

Because I stayed in hostel, I could train almost every night and eventually got an A for it :D and I finally got full marks for NAPFA bwahahaha :D

#5 Improve in soccer and train regularly (This should be made much easier for me since I’d be staying in the hostel, so the challenge would be getting off my sorry ass and actually training.)

Hmm I didn’t really achieve this one haha :( Well, health scares and injuries for the first half of year and consequently lack of confidence and self doubt in the second half kinda hampered me on this one. But I think I’m getting there actually :) There have been improvements, but definitely need more for this year :D

#6 Do volunteer work/CIP (once I get the details ironed out, this should be it)

Ahem, no I have not done this :(

#7 Complete a 10km run by end of this year (yes yes, I’ve nvr ran 10km in my entire life =/ But I figured since I’d wanna do a marathon in this life, I must start somewhere right?)

Wellllllllllllllllllllll, I ran two 5km runs this year, have probably trained up to 10km or more but hvnt done a 10km run yet LOL :( this year this year :)

#8 Run and train more (Thank goodness for the track next year, but same as #5, I need to get motivation to overcome that initial lazyness and sianness which comes when I start from scratch :( But in any case, I needa tone up in time for competitions in Feb since I’m nowhere in shape right now)

Hah I think in the first half of the year, I really kept to this!!! Till injuries came in. But even in Sem 2, I found an awesome running partner in Seo Youn and we’ve gotten much closer ever since after our friendship in Y3 kinda fizzled out :) Hahah turns out she loves food, sports and shopping as well hahah!!! :D

In fact, I didn’t like running on the track after the first 3 months in hostel. I’d go out of school, around Clementi, around SP, Sunset Way wherever to different places for a change in scenery :) Of course, running tgth w Ms Kong and Ms CamLee was fun too!!!

#9 Read more during the school term! (I LOVE reading, but I seldom find time to do so during the school term cos I will procrastinate and all. I should do more reading to improve on my English grade since it slipped last year heh)

Uh. I think I read a lot of history texts since I’m a history major but otherwise… I hvnt been reading as much as I hope to :(

#10 Manage time better (This would mean less blogging so you wldn’t hear frm me too often anymore! And less MSN-ing and blogshopping hoho)

Hmm less blogging defnly but that didn’t mean I was managing my time better :(((((( But there were definitely less MSN-ing and blogshopping last year hahah.

#11 No smses in classes and lessons AND NO WIFI-ING or whaifi-ing hehe (Now that there’s no Physics anymore.. no excuses. I think I will still read smses though and reply those impt ones?)

I really replied fewer smses in class alrdy!!! :) Must maintain that way this year :) And thanks for my damn old phone whose wifi function spoilt, I really kept to the part of no wifi-ing and surfing in class, kthx!

#12 Be more active in church

Nope :(

#13 Drink less bubble tea

LOL I don’t even wanna think bout this._.

#14 Don’t procrastinate and no last minute work (Actually no excuses for this, since I don’t have many lessons next year)

Hmmmmmmm, well there was still procrastination but fewer last minute work I guess :/ Half check for this but not really there yet hahah :(

#15 No late nights before CCA days (Heh, actually if I do #14, I should have no late nights..)

Uh, actually in hostel, I kept to pretty early nights in second half of the year after the initial highness and having to get used to hostel died off :) I mostly slept like 12mn or 1am latest!? And woke at 7-7:15am so that’s pretty decent sleep :)

#16 No online shows on weekdays unless during holidays or after exam periods

LOL. I defnly didn’t keep to this :( Well, I didn’t stream them online but thanks to Seo Youn & Aaron, I had ready-downloaded multiple seasons of Gossip Girl and How I Met Your Mother readily available which I couldn’t resist :(

#17 Be more active in 508. (I completely stopped being active in 305/405, even when I thought I was kinda active in 105/205. So as I looked back at 2008 and 2009, I realized that I am partially at fault too)

Nope, I didn’t do this either. I did what I was expected to but I just didn’t give more.

#18 Continue to use Chinese! This is rather important cos I realize that after O lvls and if I don’t fail HMT O lvls, I wldn’t have a chance to use Chinese anymore, which means I will be back to speaking Chinese like an ang moh (the way I used to sound two years ago before mixing more with Jia Yi and Nelson) and my beautiful Chinese handwriting will look like crap! I must think of a way to make sure that doesn’t happen :( Should I join calligraphy or something!? I actually miss writing suibi to Mr Wujiong :( :( :( Two years ago, I never thought I’d say something like this.

Well, for first few months, I read some Chinese books but it eventually died down :( I’M SO ASHAMED!!! I shall pick up speaking, reading and writing Chinese again :)

#19 Not forsake those who matter and not waste time with those who don’t. Enough said.

Hmm I actually kinda did this? I really spent more time w ppl who matters to me, esp my sis, family, a few impt close friends but maybe I overdid it hahah, I kinda completely ignored my good friends as well which is bad.

#20 Try not to fall in love. Strange, but it’s healthier for me I suppose. Mentally and emotionally. And I know I’ve always been a strong believer that it’s not like we choose whether to fall in love or not, but still. Or at least I must not confuse and have the lines of “friendship and love” or “infatuation and love” blurred :)

Well, still am a strong believer of the fact that we don’t choose whether we fall in love or not :) And that’s all I am actually sure about, really.

 

LOL this is kinda fail, I only really completed 8/20 of what I resolved to do last year and if I’m slightly more lenient, #7, #10, #14 and #20 can be counted as halves so I kinda passed like, 50% :)

Okay, looks like I know what I must improve on for this year :D Will post my resolutions the next time :) Still in the midst of deciding which I shall post up cos they mustn’t be too personal or embarrassing!!! :D

For now, back to ARP :(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( What a bummer >:(

The aftermath of the bombshell that was dropped

I’m very tired, both physically and mentally. It’s hard keeping up when I’m feeling so weak.

I’m really sad inside. It’s hard to keep up smiling and being a good sport and all cheerful sometimes when all I want is to sort these mixed up feelings inside.

 

…

Just a short update before I go off for lunch :) Took halfday off today.

• Internship at PUB is pretty fun! I’m nowhere near competent in terms of lab skills or research analysis (in fact I kinda suck) but my mentor & buddy are really nice :) :) :)
• Gna go for ARP soon and I’m actually kinda dreading it. I so much prefer my internship to my ARP bwahaha :D
• I need to go shopping!!!
• I need to find a day to go out w Chua & Seo Youn & Sharmaine + Yu Jia!!!! Where has the holidays flown to :(
• Am looking fwd to Friday(:
• Am determined to start running again this evening! I last ran 2km on Saturday and I wanted to DIE fml T.T
• I forgot to bring my phone today-.- but in any case, my phone turns 2 exactly today and it’s time to change to a new one :D anyone wanna follow me to look for one this weekend?^^
• OKAY BAI!!! :)

The Angel of Almost

From: http://www.iwrotethisforyou.me/2010/11/angel-of-almost.html

Then I was somewhere else, and it was bright. A voice said

“If you’d carried on practicing that song you almost got right, you would’ve been great. Bigger than the Beatles.”

It continued

“If you’d carried on working on that book you almost finished, it would’ve changed the lives of many, many people.”

Then it said

“If you’d tried to reach the one you loved just a little bit more, when you almost had them, your life would’ve been completely different.”

And I asked

“Is this what happens when I die?”

And the voice said

“Almost.”

I’ve been aching for a long time, but finally in a good way :)

Kinda lazy to blog bout soccer camp cos you just gotta be there to know how much awesome fun it was :) but I will try to convey all the joy it was in words even though it’d not be enough^^

x Match against Aussie girls from Lynwood High School? Gosh they were really huge, big and fast D: They gave us wristbands like some sort of souvenir and we were kinda so fascinated w them that we didn’t go to our positions and the ref got kinda pissed off at us hehehe. Maybe it was some ploy to make us distracted!? :P We lost but I think I thought we didn’t play too badly

x Showered then had lunch at a hawker centre in Clementi! I nvr knew the hawker centre looks like this and there was actually quite a lot of food there and this really cool fruit drinks stall I totally needa try out nxt time :D

x Rebecca, Waileng, Ms Camlee, Malsoh and I tried bubble tea at OKtea LOL but it wasn’t half as good as Eskimo/Gongcha/Koi but it wasn’t too bad either :D

x I think when we returned from Clementi, we had like an hour of slacking and chatting in our classroom :D somehow I feel that our camp had a lot of free time in btwn for us to recharge/nap, though we spent it laughing and laughing at the junior’s crazy antics and silly lame jokes/arguments!!!

x Watched a replay of our match though we didn’t watch the whole thing cos we left for light training afterwards

x Did headers training cos it was raining really heavily and the lightning were scary. Paired w Yu Jia :D I think I like doing headers LOL somehow I love the sensation of jumping and having your head whacking into the ball :D few important looking men walked past us when we were training and they commented “never seen girls heading balls like this”, so sexist wth but felt proud when I heard that :D

x Played Captain’s Ball after that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So happie!!!! Hahah Camlee was in our team and Malsoh was playing for the other team and Malsoh said he’d get Starbucks chocolate cake for the winning team HAHAH. My team won in the end :D But of course, Malsoh bought cake for everyone to share :)

x Rushed down to Starbucks at WCP cos there was the free coffee from 5-7pm promo for the Salvation Army :D SHIOK!!! Got Dark Mocha Frap w Java Chips thanks to Sharmaine’s suggestion :D don’t think I hv drank at Starbucks bef haha.. :/

x Went to have dinner at WCP Hawker Centre and after coming back, we slacked around in our classroom. Apparently, we were supposed to go play Monopoly Deal w the teachers but we daoed them heh, so only the seniors went (as seen from Rebecca’s blog). So we stayed and wrote cards for the seniors since they were staying over :(

x Rebecca danced to Tik Tok damn sexily please :D Think she danced that for prom performance or something!? Damn, it’s gna be so weird w/o all the snrs nxt year, esp the ones who matter like Asmidah, Chin Wee, Eliza, Viona, Rebecca… :(

x Oh yeah, our casualty rate was kinda high :( Lisa, Kat and Sharmaine sprained their ankles :(((( So they couldn’t really play for us for the friendly on the second day :( Yan Tong got a wheelchair from school though HAHAH. So we actually played around w it, and I finally got the chance to try out sitting on a wheelchair though I hope I nvr have to use it ever heh :D

x We (Kat, Sharmaine, Wardah, Yu Jia & I) played “I have never” w Malsoh’s sinful but damn awesome chocolate cake at 11pm!!! So fattening right but it was fun :)

x Got down to the track and chatted there, the wind was so good!!!! But it started raining after awhile so we went to the other vacant classroom though clumsy us woke up the sleeping juniors :(

x I guess the caffeine did its job, we stayed up talking till almost 4am LOL. But I’m glad we did, it was such an intense and deep heart to heart talk :) It was so unexpected, but I really felt so glad cos it’s the kind of HTHT I’ve always wanted to have with close friends whom I’ve nvr had (sad but true). I felt so comfortable in the company even though I’m more or less the stranger within the group since I was the only Y5 but in a sense every one of us didn’t come from the same social circle… the only thing we had in common was that we are all in soccer, and I guess that was enough given how we clicked so well :) the only thing that puzzled and saddened me is how I nvr feel this way with my friends.

x Totally crashed and woke at 7:30pm for our morning jog to WCP (the long way, puhlease) then we had breakfast there :D Just read that running on an empty stomach helps to burn fats!!!! But it was kinda miserable cos I was frigging hungry T.T though it’s something I can consider doing during the hols :D

x Had training after coming back to school and the sun was frigging scorching and the field was damn muddy cos it was raining earlier. But I thought the training and drills we did was more fun than anything I’ve done for training actually. Somehow I felt like this, however weird it may seem. Played a small game before showering :D

x Came back for another meeting session and we had to write how our team must improve nxt year, how we as individuals must improve nxt year, etc. Malsoh gave each of us laminated bookmark w personalized msg as a “cert” for completion of the camp!!! SO NICE OF HIM!!! :) It totally made me wanna perform well for our friendly afterwards

x Took a bus to MJC but it started raining there-.- so our team just sat around in a big circle and laughed, crapped around, took pictures here and there. But honestly, I never laughed so hard for a really long time. I just sat down there feeling so comfortable and I thought I saw the teachers looking at us a few times cos we hvnt had such moments as a team before…  Though the seniors (ex Y6) and us were pretty tight, there were “cliques” cos all the ex Y6s kinda knew each other so they mostly rather spend time tgth? The Y4s were sort of a clique too since they were all so close, so most of the time I’d be drifting btwn the two cliques cos I enjoyed both their company a lot. So it was kinda cool when the whole team got together and yknow, bonded.

x The rain stopped just as we ttly didn’t wanna play anymore cos we were so comfortable slacking :( But it turned out to be a joke-ish friendly cos the field was so bloody small and we didn’t even get to play against MJC (which I was kinda looking forward to cos I wanted to see how we are against their team) and we only got to play against Whitley, 0-0.

x Took a bus back to school before everyone went their separate ways cos it was kinda inconvenient to have dinner tgth due to our big faaaaat bags. Sat down to wait for my daddy and saw Camlee driving her white Mercedes sports car OMG!!!

x Daddy & I had really yummy prawn mee, beancurd and grass jelly for dinner & supper YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) What a perfect ending for such awesome two days :D

–

On a more serious note, I’m so glad that I went for camp :) Honestly, I wasn’t too psyched bout the camp as compared to last year’s. For one, last year’s camp went so awesome I thought it would be hard to match up to it. Secondly, most of the seniors wldn’t be there so I thought it wldnt be really fun cos I wasn’t so close to any other jnrs, apart frm YJ & Sharmaine. Thirdly, there wasn’t a “friend” I had there cos Mingyan was in Taipei for sch exchange and I was afraid I’d be like a loner throughout camp cos everyone else would have their own friends :(

But most imptly, it was because I was feeling totally redundant in the team. This is the first time I’ve completely admitted this and it sounds totally whiny I’m sorry. I can’t place exactly when I started feeling this way, but if I could place a date to it, it’d be 24th Sept, the day we had the friendly against NUS. That was the first match (apart from my first ever friendly/match more than a year ago) that Malsoh didn’t put me in the field for the first or second third of the game. I knew I acted like I couldn’t care less and that it was probably a better thing not to play cos of how lousy I am. I know, I should have focused more on improving so I will never have to feel redundant and I will nvr not be chosen to play. But I thought wrong, instead I got so afraid of going training, of playing, of going to any friendly/match cos I nvr wanna know that I’m not chosen. In short, yeah running away like what I mentioned in my previous post. It broke me inside cos although I’d put in for soccer like earlier this year during the national season when I wasn’t allowed or supposed to play at all and the times when I was injured but still carried on playing cos I didn’t wanna let down the team, it just broke me when I realized whether I played or not, it didn’t matter to the team cos the way I contributed to the team didn’t matter cos of my lack of skills. I used to think that I could make up (however little) for my lack of skills through my speed or stamina or the fact that I would always be there playing and definitely not quitting unless I am really completely injured and I cldnt continue playing. The friendly against NUS made me realize I thought wrong and that was when everything went downhill cos I lost whatever little confidence I had in me for soccer previously.

But I guess I told myself regardless of Malsoh’s decisions for the matches we’d play for this camp, I told myself to get over my lack of confidence and self-consciousness cos I rmbed what my teacher told me that these feelings are crippling me and I guess I understood the severity of it right now. I gotta say, I think I played better than I did for a really long time :) but then again, there’s always so much I must improve on and I’m totally looking forward to it for the first time and not completely killing myself over it!! This camp really renewed my faith in myself, my drive to perform better and train harder for the team and work harder for my last year in soccer :)

**

I panicked the night before the camp and I IM-ed you bout what I feared and I was so ready to spill everything to you once and for all just so I’d feel better and you’d understand how I’m feeling. But I guess, you were caught up in your own problems and you just totally ignored my “opening line”. When I got back and saw your tumblr, I realized you hvnt emoed or confided in me for the longest time, maybe even ever? Not even when I asked bout it cos I am concerned. There’s something happening to us I can’t place it but it’s making me sad.

 

“In 3 words, I can sum up everything in life: It goes on.” – Robert Frost

Oh boy, it’s alrdy December!!! Last month of holidays before our last year in school :) Kinda looking fwd to it though of course, I never want holidays to end hahah cos that means having to finish up ARP, end of slack life, end of not having to wake up at 5+ to 6am. Aww :)

Busy month ahead: soccer camp tmr, completion and finalization of ARP, going for internship at PUB (apprehensive but kinda excited too at the same time :D who knows I might love a career of research huh :D)

My Korea trip was really awesome cos all of us spent the entire week being together and not cooped up in our own rooms doing our work or watching our own shows , having all our meals together at the same time on the dining table and not having any electronic technological gadgets with us cos we left all our handphones & laptops behind for the first time since forever? :D Took plenty of photos so probably gna develop it soon :D Of all technology advances men have known/invented/progressed, I still enjoy developing my photographs so that I can flip through it in the photo album when I’m in the mood to do so :) Which is probably primarily the reason why I wldnt really upload it on facebook (unless I wanna make it profile picture bwahaha) or blog bout it (cos it’s nice talking to my family bout it instead^^ which we still are, when we miss the cold lazy weather and all the sightseeing :D)

I haven’t been running this entire month :( Kinda sad, though yeah I probably shld stop running cos it’s really hurting my knee and it kinda scares me how old injuries might recur. Actually I think I stopped running seriously right before Sports Day on 31st August cos I pulled my hamstring._. The thought of having to limp for the rest of my life and not being able to do sports scares me. Though honestly now when I eat anything remotely unhealthy, I find it hard to swallow cos all I can think bout is the calories I’m inputing and how I’m not running them off :( Really, I’m obsessed that way!! Which is also probably the reason why I don’t like having dinner out… Cos I know the food my mum cooks is definitely way healthier :) On a brighter note, I have been starting swimming again! Though definitely nowhere near the 40 laps I could easily do right after exams at Clementi Pool *sobs* but actually I’m taking this pretty well I would think… Starting afresh and right from the bottom sucks but hey, everyone gotta start somewhere :) Wanna make it a habit to swim at clementi nxt year, maybe bef CCA or PE if there’s a lot of free time to kill._. esp since there’s no hostel anymore :)

Hah, I’ve been rambling :) Time to sign off and watch my Gossip Girl and The Walking Dead I just loaded yay!

Ciao! :)

-

I guess I’ve been running away because the thought of knowing that I am actually redundant scares me. And I thought by running away, I could avoid facing that fact forever :(

Just a quick post before I go…

Am flying off tonight :) Kinda feeling psyched yet not knowing what to expect at the same time hahah. But I’m sure this will change when I arrive in Korea whee~
Aaron & I watched Harry Potter today^^ Pretty impressive and dark (I kinda love dark films when I’m not feeling brainless) given that we know it will end halfway and the book was obviously much better and more detailed.
Ciao :)
Busy days ahead when I come back, but for now shall enjoy :)

It’s just a dream until you set out on working towards it. Then it becomes a goal.

I’ve just spent the entire night thinking it through- bout you, bout him, bout her and most importantly, bout me and I realize that if I wanna achieve what I want in 2011, I really have to get down to it and focus and that means no you, no him, no her, no whoever random and unimportant, but just me.

I realized that while I really do wanna enjoy life like what others do, the difference is that they can afford to while I can’t. I’m not half as smart, capable, productive, brilliant, successful as they are and there’s just so much more that needs to be done.

Having the heart to heart talk with Daddy made me open up my eyes and heart to such new dimensions that I never knew existed. I always shunned expectations because I never wanna let anyone down. But that’s when I realize that I really do wanna work hard so I will not let my Daddy down cos he has always believed in me and he is my best real life example that anything is possible as long as I dream and set it down as my goal.

The motivation in me died down as my slacky self took over during the holidays– when I bummed around the house, watched drama, obsessing over stuff that shouldn’t be important, stop exercising and making all sorts of excuses for myself. But times like this– heart to heart talks, knowing someone still believes in you, reading self-help books, borrowing books on running and reading bout all the success stories in life and exercising or whatever make me realize that despite all the put-me-downs, despite all the failures I’ve faced, despite all the discouragement and blows to my low esteem, I’m no lost cause.

Protected: This is for you next year though I wish you would never have to see this.

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